.: Jake's On First :: Twitter :: My Wiki :: Photos :: Contact me :.
June 14
“ Well put, Mr. Science Teacher. All those atheists with that whole “evolutionary theory” thing don’t realize it’s just a theory! Probably everything in nature is just beyond our understanding. Let’s pray.
“The Happening” is evil religious propaganda
June 13
Gullible: Kids told by police their friends were killed in a car accident. Nope, just kidding!
I think this will turn out to be pretty effective.
+
Turn your friends into LEGO!

(via jeffcannata)

Aside: Despite all the hate Twitter gets, if it’s at least good for one thing, it’s finding interesting links.
+

Apropos of nothing

catbird:

If there was a button marked, “Blow Up/Destroy The Entire Internet,” I wonder how many times it would have been pressed by now.

Potentially infinite amount of times (I don’t even mean this metaphysically, the button may be labelled as such, but that doesn’t mean it actually does something)

+
Have you heard of garbage island? It’s the size of Texas & is floating in the Pacific. Yup, we’re fucked. (via Amanda)
Have you heard of garbage island? It’s the size of Texas & is floating in the Pacific. Yup, we’re fucked. (via Amanda)
+
“ Tumblr must be Latin for “I don’t have to tell you where I found this”. As Woodsy Owl would say: give a shit, via it.
Jason Kottke, who doesn’t realise that if J.Lo via’s it, then everyone already knows where it’s from.
+
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

amandalynferri:

We Used to be Friends - The Dandy Warhols

Theme song to the most culturally important show of our generation (maybe not, but it’s still pretty fucking sweet)

+
jakoblodwick: “To the caller, when I first answer, I am the inanimate Barbie. They do not know what I look like, who I am or how I feel. They can only imagine. It is my job to indulge their fantasies, to convince them that I am not a doll. I am their dream turned real. I view every question the caller asks me as a command for me to transform. If they ask if I am blonde, I become a blonde. If they ask how wet I am, I tell them that my panties are drenched. I respond to every sound the caller makes with an affirmation, I encourage them, I breathe life into their fantasy, I carve the doll out of flesh. I do not view myself as this doll, as the commodity. I am the manufacturer who creates her from the blueprint that the caller provides me. When the caller comes, it is positive feedback. Like an architect patting his contractor on the back.” Photos of phone sex operators, via kottke.

jakoblodwick:

“To the caller, when I first answer, I am the inanimate Barbie. They do not know what I look like, who I am or how I feel. They can only imagine. It is my job to indulge their fantasies, to convince them that I am not a doll. I am their dream turned real. I view every question the caller asks me as a command for me to transform. If they ask if I am blonde, I become a blonde. If they ask how wet I am, I tell them that my panties are drenched. I respond to every sound the caller makes with an affirmation, I encourage them, I breathe life into their fantasy, I carve the doll out of flesh. I do not view myself as this doll, as the commodity. I am the manufacturer who creates her from the blueprint that the caller provides me. When the caller comes, it is positive feedback. Like an architect patting his contractor on the back.”

Photos of phone sex operators, via kottke.

+
“ I’d like to be coaxed into a sexual Neverland, a kind of Narnia of erotica
Russell Brand in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL uncensored cast interview PART 4
+
John Mayer is the fucking coolest guy, but he’s still a dick.