I do not hate you, Dane Cook. Some of your bits make me laugh, and I like how lively and spastic you are during your routines. Your emphatic emoting is fun to watch. I don’t mind your made-up words, I use “sangwich” and “relationshit” and “bragadocious”. Here’s the thing, though: I fucking hate that smug giggle you do after every joke you make. “You run up to that kid and smash his ice cream in his face, he’ll never forget you. Urhurgh”. That “Urhurgh”. It sounds like you’re vomiting your laugh. I also find your claim that you’ve never consumed drugs or alcohol preposterous. Are you kidding me? Also you look like a douche. You just have a douche face.
Despite all that, Dane Cook: I do not hate you.
