Saturday December 12, 2009 at 9:49

Deconstructing Pedobear: User: anotherjack: Pedobear is not an endorsement of child rape, even though he might disagree. He is a shorthand for a lot of things we feel afraid to say. It used to be that the stereotype of the child rapist was a spooky hobo, a stranger. Now that we know it can be anyone, and that it’s often men, so now males are being culturally told that it’s not okay to enjoy children on any level, because that might mean something icky about you. And I want to say, as a woman, that I think this is fucking sad. It’s normal to like children. It’s usually a mark of a decent human being. Children don’t need to be raised or spoken to only by females and siblings. They need men in their lives, too. Dad, Uncle John, Mr. Wilkins from next door who lets you borrow his mower, these guys are an essential part of the world a child lives in, and everyone is robbed when we can’t have these relationships. But we are caught in the aftermath of a cultural shift, and just about every guy feels the fallout. For a long time, we had a culture where lot of bad shit was swept under the rug. Now, we all are aware that molestation really does happen, especially in families. This is a massive cultural shift. Because of this, people are being caught, and held accountable, in ways they never were before. There is even a TV show where that is all they do! They find so many guys it’s crazy! That has got to make the average guy ask himself questions, like: Is it pedo to like the pictures in Barely Legal? Is it perverted to find Natalie Portman attractive in The Professional? Is it okay to make a joke when I feel stupid holding my sister’s baby? Pedobear helps us, because he brings up the stuff we are worried about, and he makes it funny, and we don’t feel like we are in danger of going to jail or being tracked by the FBI for talking about Pedobear. Child molesters harm innocent and helpless people, they ruin lives, they are rightly despised. Luckily, we know for certain that Pedobear is not real, so we can laugh about him. Like the “Free Candy” van, he is obviously a harmless joke about a scary thing. User: Terminal157 There’s a lot of truth to what you said, but I think there’s more to it than that. We’re in the midst of one of the greatest moral panics in recent history, and Pedobear is the counter culture reaction. Any time a subject is treated as so serious that you’re not allowed to make fun of it, there will be a sizable group making fun of it. In other words, Pedobear is a raspberry blown in the face of the squares. Indeed, much of the humor, implicitly or explicitly, comes from the imagined responses of people who don’t get, or don’t approve of, the joke. User: Wamerocity THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You said this beautifully. I am a father of 2, and I frequently take my little 2 1/2 year old little girl to the mall to play in the playland or at the park. I’m the only dad who’s ever on his knees CHASING his kids or actually goes down the slides to chase her. My daughter gets so excited when I play this intimately with her, and the other little kids around me ALWAYS want me to chase them too. I tickle my daughter, the other girls and boys ask me to chase and tickle them, and I always have to look at their sad faces and say, “sorry sweetie, I can’t do that. Go ask your dad on the bench” because of this very issue. I can’t touch/play with another child without implicit permission from the parent- and I’m still a little wary even with it. It is SO sad that I feel like I have to justify being able to touch my daughter in public because of everyone’s wariness that “you’re PROBABLY not a pedophile, but I can’t really be sure.” And my fear is justified. Ever known someone who has had DHS called on them incorrectly or someone who has been accused of touching/molesting a child falsely? All is takes is an ACCUSATION, and you’re life is FUCKED forever. That’s it. Even if you are acquitted of a crime, you’re life will never be the same. The rest of the thread (a discussion about pedophilephobia) is here, and some of the comments are very interesting: I agree with everything you say, except what you say about Pedobear. Yes, it’s just a cartoon, and I don’t want to even attempt to take away anyone’s First Amendment rights, but regardless of intent, every time I see it (or hear it) it reminds me of when I was (brutally) molested at age 6 or 7 (I honestly can’t remember). I do not like remembering that trauma, and I doubt I’m the only person with this reaction. It’s not that if offends me, it’s just that I wish I had never heard of Pedobear, and if I see it, I feel shitty for the rest of the day. (This is after many years of therapy.) Yes, it sucks that you can’t play with your kids (or other kids) without feeling paranoid, it really sucks, but would you mock/make jokes about rape in the same way? (And most or all of child molestation is rape, anyway.)

Deconstructing Pedobear:

User: anotherjack:

Pedobear is not an endorsement of child rape, even though he might disagree. He is a shorthand for a lot of things we feel afraid to say. It used to be that the stereotype of the child rapist was a spooky hobo, a stranger. Now that we know it can be anyone, and that it’s often men, so now males are being culturally told that it’s not okay to enjoy children on any level, because that might mean something icky about you.

And I want to say, as a woman, that I think this is fucking sad. It’s normal to like children. It’s usually a mark of a decent human being. Children don’t need to be raised or spoken to only by females and siblings. They need men in their lives, too. Dad, Uncle John, Mr. Wilkins from next door who lets you borrow his mower, these guys are an essential part of the world a child lives in, and everyone is robbed when we can’t have these relationships.

But we are caught in the aftermath of a cultural shift, and just about every guy feels the fallout. For a long time, we had a culture where lot of bad shit was swept under the rug. Now, we all are aware that molestation really does happen, especially in families. This is a massive cultural shift. Because of this, people are being caught, and held accountable, in ways they never were before. There is even a TV show where that is all they do! They find so many guys it’s crazy! That has got to make the average guy ask himself questions, like: Is it pedo to like the pictures in Barely Legal? Is it perverted to find Natalie Portman attractive in The Professional? Is it okay to make a joke when I feel stupid holding my sister’s baby?

Pedobear helps us, because he brings up the stuff we are worried about, and he makes it funny, and we don’t feel like we are in danger of going to jail or being tracked by the FBI for talking about Pedobear. Child molesters harm innocent and helpless people, they ruin lives, they are rightly despised. Luckily, we know for certain that Pedobear is not real, so we can laugh about him. Like the “Free Candy” van, he is obviously a harmless joke about a scary thing.

User: Terminal157

There’s a lot of truth to what you said, but I think there’s more to it than that. We’re in the midst of one of the greatest moral panics in recent history, and Pedobear is the counter culture reaction. Any time a subject is treated as so serious that you’re not allowed to make fun of it, there will be a sizable group making fun of it. In other words, Pedobear is a raspberry blown in the face of the squares. Indeed, much of the humor, implicitly or explicitly, comes from the imagined responses of people who don’t get, or don’t approve of, the joke.

User: Wamerocity

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! You said this beautifully. I am a father of 2, and I frequently take my little 2 1/2 year old little girl to the mall to play in the playland or at the park. I’m the only dad who’s ever on his knees CHASING his kids or actually goes down the slides to chase her. My daughter gets so excited when I play this intimately with her, and the other little kids around me ALWAYS want me to chase them too. I tickle my daughter, the other girls and boys ask me to chase and tickle them, and I always have to look at their sad faces and say, “sorry sweetie, I can’t do that. Go ask your dad on the bench” because of this very issue. I can’t touch/play with another child without implicit permission from the parent- and I’m still a little wary even with it. It is SO sad that I feel like I have to justify being able to touch my daughter in public because of everyone’s wariness that “you’re PROBABLY not a pedophile, but I can’t really be sure.” And my fear is justified. Ever known someone who has had DHS called on them incorrectly or someone who has been accused of touching/molesting a child falsely? All is takes is an ACCUSATION, and you’re life is FUCKED forever. That’s it. Even if you are acquitted of a crime, you’re life will never be the same.

The rest of the thread (a discussion about pedophilephobia) is here, and some of the comments are very interesting:

I agree with everything you say, except what you say about Pedobear.

Yes, it’s just a cartoon, and I don’t want to even attempt to take away anyone’s First Amendment rights, but regardless of intent, every time I see it (or hear it) it reminds me of when I was (brutally) molested at age 6 or 7 (I honestly can’t remember). I do not like remembering that trauma, and I doubt I’m the only person with this reaction. It’s not that if offends me, it’s just that I wish I had never heard of Pedobear, and if I see it, I feel shitty for the rest of the day. (This is after many years of therapy.)

Yes, it sucks that you can’t play with your kids (or other kids) without feeling paranoid, it really sucks, but would you mock/make jokes about rape in the same way? (And most or all of child molestation is rape, anyway.)

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