Jake Cleland

Right before the newsreader looks up, we hear the vampire...

Fri, 03 Sep 2010 00:52:54 +1000

Right before the newsreader looks up, we hear the vampire super-speed noise and a body drop to the ground, the implication being that one of the camera men (or possibly the entire crew) have just been murdered in the blink of an eye. The newsreader’s response to this is to continue reading from the autocue.

Gabe’s recaps may be a farce now, but man, there are legitimate reasons for why this show is indefensibly bad.

Made it to the first room.

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 19:21:35 +1000

Made it to the first room.

What if sex could just be like playing Grand Theft Auto IV....

Wed, 01 Sep 2010 00:49:00 +1000

What if sex could just be like playing Grand Theft Auto IV. “Ugh, can’t be bothered writing today. Might as well play a couple hours of sex.” Then when you’ve had enough, just go on with your day. Have a sandwich, watch a movie, do whatever you want! Feelings and heartache and all that mess, get rid of it, I say. “Casual sex” will no longer be for sluts, it’ll be like “casual gaming”. Fun for the whole family!

Might never talk to another living human being again. Seems to just get me into trouble. Might just masturbate constantly [via physical and mental stimulation by Photo Booth pictures of myself].

Grandma’s House might be one of the most relatable shows...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 22:27:00 +1000

Grandma’s House might be one of the most relatable shows I’ve ever seen. It’s like they took every trip to my grandparents house around Christmas and Easter and spun it into a witty little sitcom starring the cynical and acerbic Simon Amstell, who I would actually transgress my admittedly flimsy heterosexuality to be with forever and ever.

This is one of my all-time favourite music video moments. The...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:54:52 +1000

This is one of my all-time favourite music video moments. The way their slender, knobbly fingers tap and caress the strings, accompanied by one of the most addictive guitar riffs I’ve heard recently, just makes this blissful.

Albert Hammond Jr. - GfC I’ve been checking out the...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 21:31:11 +1000

Albert Hammond Jr. - GfC

I’ve been checking out the side-projects of The Strokes’ members. Albert Hammond Jr’s does not suck.

Titus Andronicus - The Battle Of Hampton Roads Is there a human...

Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:19:00 +1000

Titus Andronicus - The Battle Of Hampton Roads

Is there a human alive that can look themselves in the face without winking? / Or say what they mean without drinking / Or believe in something without thinking “What if somebody doesn’t approve?” / Is there a soul on this Earth that isn’t too frightened to move?

This song is fourteen minutes long, which means you’re probably not going to listen to it, but you should. You should at least bookmark it and listen to it later, because it’s a brilliant rock and roll opus.

For all the mocking I see targeted towards New Jersey, some of the closest things to my heart have come out of that city.

Ugh. One redditor’s drunken girlfriend comes home and...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 21:32:57 +1000

Ugh. One redditor’s drunken girlfriend comes home and decides to bake cookies in her underwear, so while she’s bent over the oven he takes photos of her.

Okay, so I shouldn’t judge on such a superficial basis. Maybe this girl is actually really permissive and laid-back. But “Don’t worry, she let me. She’s lovely when drunk.” gives me the impression that this guy is a total creeper, and is taking advantage of his drunken girlfriend for back-slaps from the salivating assholes that frequent this type of thread. Comments like “I hope she gave you permission to post this…” were met with “Yeah, because that’s what we’re all concerned about here”. Like, really?

Eryn, one of my favourite tumblrs and a very talented artist,...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:34:42 +1000

Eryn, one of my favourite tumblrs and a very talented artist, got herself featured in a magazine. You should read it (p44-48) and then start following her. Congrats, Eryn!

Amy Klein from Titus Andronicus: A few months ago, I had a...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 14:10:27 +1000

Amy Klein from Titus Andronicus:

A few months ago, I had a talk with a friend named Emily, and she told me something about her life that has stuck with me for a long time. The conversation came up after somebody tweeted something about me and my performance during Pitchfork fest. “Saw Titus Andronicus,” wrote the dude. “They still have that girl trying to play guitar who can’t play guitar.” The nausea in my stomach that appeared suddenly resembled the sinking feeling I had discovered in looking at women’s magazines as a teen. Although I know, as a performer, I’m subject to bad reviews, and people are not always going to like what I do, this guy’s comment had a definitively sexist ring to it. “Why is it,” I asked Emily, “that women who try anything at all seem to be subjected to unfair amounts of criticism, just for trying! It’s like society is encouraging women not to put themselves out there! What on earth is wrong with trying something and struggling with it, and not being perfect? Well, nothing! Except if you’re a girl. Then you have to be perfect, and perfect by standards that men get to set and enforce. And if you’re not that, then people think you’re nothing at all.”

(via raptoravatar)

Art vs Science - Parlez Vous Francais?There are douchebags at...

Sun, 29 Aug 2010 02:22:00 +1000

Art vs Science - Parlez Vous Francais?

There are douchebags at every gig, and I’m glad I don’t have a phone capable of using the internet because I’m sure I’d be on it 90% of the time complaining about all the fuckholes grinding up against me with their sweaty asses and too-high heels.

But it’s hard to stay angry when it was such an incredible show. The stand-out performance was by opening act Jinja Safari who were so much fun to listen to, and hysterical on stage. I don’t think there was a person in the room unimpressed by Pepa Knight’s sitar-ing. And then he played a recorder, and I thought “Anyone that can evoke the image of Brian Jones while giving a near-fatally energetic performance is doing a pretty fucking good job”.

I remember talking to Alan when Heaven Is Whenever came out...

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 14:41:24 +1000

I remember talking to Alan when Heaven Is Whenever came out about how I felt so let down by Craig Finn because it was such a bad album. He told me it might not be as good as their best records but it’s not as bad as I thought it was, which I put down to a difference in taste. To be fair to The Hold Steady, I hadn’t dedicated much time to the album at that point and dismissed it because after a couple of listens, none of it grabbed me (which I thought was significant, because the rest of their albums have killer track ones). Since then I’ve taken some time to digest it, and it’s starting to improve. I still don’t feel even close to the way I feel about Separation Sunday or Boys And Girls In America, but it’s not a complete write-off. I’d put it around Stay Positive-level. At the end of the day I’m just glad I have more Hold Steady to listen to.

I spend a lot of time trying to look good (“and...

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 13:34:10 +1000

I spend a lot of time trying to look good (“and succeeding!”, I hear the ladies say), but I don’t actually think of myself as “fashionable”. I’ll go so far as to say I have an average eye for knowing what would make a person look good and what wouldn’t, but mostly I just look at pictures of famous people and see how close I can get with the horribly outdated thrift store wardrobe I have.

All that said, I saw a lady walking along the street yesterday wearing this coat, and all I could think was “That is the most gauche fucking thing I have ever seen”. The people that don’t know what Burberry is won’t give a shit, and the people that do will think you’re tacky. How do you win wearing something like this? This is some Ed Hardy shit right here.

Please keep writing forever.

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:51:17 +1000

“You keep reading ‘em, I’ll keep writing ‘em.” - Stan Lee, Mallrats.

I’ll do my best.

Early mornings can swallow razors, I’m so glad I changed...

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 12:34:00 +1000

Early mornings can swallow razors, I’m so glad I changed to doing TV at night. Today was a total throwback to my first season doing TV/radio, and it helped me realise that I don’t miss a single thing about those days.

Kanye West in Slate accidentally makes an interesting...

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 12:17:45 +1000

Kanye West in Slate accidentally makes an interesting proposal:

There are only a small handful of print interviews West has given since her passing.* His silence was presumably—at least in part—a function of grief, but West has also communicated his general ambivalence about journalists. “This is my problem with interviews, you know? What if you did music, and someone else could come in and change your words around and then release it to the radio? And you ain’t even get a chance to listen to it before they dropped it to radio? That’s how interviews are! You say what you say and then you get paraphrased,” he’s said. “I wanna get approval over the shit.”

Idea: Give Kanye all the raw notes on the interview, let him construct his own article. Compare it with the journalist’s.

synecdoche: hey guys who wants to buy an AUTHENTIC angsty...

Thu, 26 Aug 2010 09:45:21 +1000

synecdoche:

hey guys who wants to buy an *AUTHENTIC* angsty 14-year-old’s guitar? no really, my parents are finally serious about moving (to panama! what the what!!) after my dad retires so i have to start slowly selling all of my stuff since my bedroom is essentially just storage for all of my life’s embarrassing phases. so yeah, i’m selling this guitar that i’ve only used like, two times (and i GUESS you can take the stickers off, but c’mon! taking back sunday!) along with the amp and all of the shame that comes along with having once listened to senses fail. i’m also selling my acoustic guitar i’ve never used and my drum set (TEARS).

Whenever people I follow post sentimental stuff they’re selling on Tumblr, I want to buy it more than anything I’ve ever wanted to buy before. But then I’m reminded of how terrifically broke I am and my dreams for a Tumblr Treasure Trove are dashed.

Weezer’s new album not actually named after the LOST...

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 19:45:49 +1000

Weezer’s new album not actually named after the LOST character. Brian Bell explains:

The inspiration came from a surf company called Hurley, that was funding the record at the beginning of the recording process. And we actually did some sort of advertisement … I don’t even know how they’re tied in so much, although, we got some clothes and we did a photo shoot where we’re wearing these clothes, and I think we’re selling these clothes in malls. So how that’s tied in, I don’t know. I think it’s this whole like … tying in different medias,and then using Hurley, the character from Lost, which I’ve never seen in my life, as our mascot almost, for this record, is somewhat postmodernistic maybe. I hope people don’t look at it as too jokey. Cause it certainly comes across that way, without reading into it a little more deeply. That’s it as far as the name and the album cover goes.

A witness of the interview reports after the mics turned off, he went on to say “Fuck, man, shit, I don’t know. I’m just glad I have a job. I don’t want to piss off Rivers in case he imprisons me In The Garage.”

Laughing At Myself So You Don’t Have To Blog 2k10

Wed, 25 Aug 2010 18:36:13 +1000

Laughing At Myself So You Don’t Have To Blog 2k10

Gabe has been seriously on-point about nerds lately: Sometimes,...

Tue, 24 Aug 2010 20:38:45 +1000

Gabe has been seriously on-point about nerds lately:

Sometimes, things that are made expressly to appeal to nerds should make nerds feel ashamed of themselves. (As if there’s another way that nerds ever feel? DING DONG!) Like, “check out this Pulp Fiction/Star Wars mash-up where John Travolta is Darth Vader.” No. You deserve better, nerds, and you should expect better. The fact that nerds will always eat that junk up is the reason that junk keeps getting made.

The root of this observation came from Comic-Con:

Step-by-step, not only at the convention center itself, but for two square miles around the convention center, nerds are being aggressively marketed to in the most lazy and manipulative and disheartening ways, and step-by-step, the nerds seem to be loving it. Come on, nerds! You have finally gained a quasi-social acceptance, and you’re complacently letting that acceptance be used against you in the crassest attempts to make you buy garbage. I thought nerds were supposed to be the smart ones!

The whole thrilling indictment of contemporary nerd culture is worth a read, and it revealed to me something I think I’ve always known but have previously just accepted: Nerds are the happiest demographic to be advertised to. Part of this has to do with the especially insidious nature of advertising cultivated for - but not necessarily aimed that, though sometimes it is - nerds. “Nerds” are notorious for having fierce brand loyalty, which you only need to look at the perennial Console Wars to find evidence of. They contextualize themselves via consumerism. Whether you believe this is any different than the way music fans form an identity around which bands they listen to, and film buffs form an identity around which directors they like, is a matter of deciding whether video games, songs, and films are art or products.

A lot of the discussion surrounding the paradigm shift in the concept of “nerd” lately has been really fascinating, and also illuminating on the ultimate futility of such broad demographic labels.

Jake Cleland

Right before the newsreader looks up, we hear the vampire...

Made it to the first room.

What if sex could just be like playing Grand Theft Auto IV....

Grandma’s House might be one of the most relatable shows...

This is one of my all-time favourite music video moments. The...

Albert Hammond Jr. - GfC I’ve been checking out the...

Titus Andronicus - The Battle Of Hampton Roads Is there a human...

Ugh. One redditor’s drunken girlfriend comes home and...

Eryn, one of my favourite tumblrs and a very talented artist,...

Amy Klein from Titus Andronicus: A few months ago, I had a...

Art vs Science - Parlez Vous Francais?There are douchebags at...

I remember talking to Alan when Heaven Is Whenever came out...

I spend a lot of time trying to look good (“and...

Please keep writing forever.

Early mornings can swallow razors, I’m so glad I changed...

Kanye West in Slate accidentally makes an interesting...

synecdoche: hey guys who wants to buy an *AUTHENTIC* angsty...

Weezer’s new album not actually named after the LOST...

Laughing At Myself So You Don’t Have To Blog 2k10

Gabe has been seriously on-point about nerds lately: Sometimes,...

synecdoche: hey guys who wants to buy an AUTHENTIC angsty...