Jake Cleland

Pac-Man, I'm Jewish!

Mon, 15 Mar 2010 16:25:06 +1100

“Slut”

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 17:04:21 +1100

“Slut”

Not a time for laughing, but thankyou!

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:17:29 +1100

Her: So... I don't know what you wanna do
Me: Well, my immediate goal is to chill a champagne glass, close my curtains, put on High Fidelity, get heinously drunk and cry so much I die from dehydration.
Me: Or have a sandwich
Her: Haha.

"Fucking hell, that was like the cutest thing anyone has ever said to me"

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 16:00:38 +1100

“Fucking hell, that was like the cutest thing anyone has ever said to me”

- Sound the death rattle

“Here’s a theory for you to disregard completely....

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 15:14:03 +1100

“Here’s a theory for you to disregard completely. Music, you know, true music, not just rock ‘n’ roll, it chooses you. It lives in your car, or alone, listening to your headphones - you know, with the vast, scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain.”

“That had not occurred to us, dude.”

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 13:52:38 +1100

“That had not occurred to us, dude.”

Last night was a success.

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 09:00:56 +1100

Last night was a success.

Michael Clarke Duncan, you have really let yourself go.

Sun, 14 Mar 2010 01:46:32 +1100

Michael Clarke Duncan, you have really let yourself go.

Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 13:36:55 +1100

Cobra Starship - Guilty Pleasure

Remember when these two were kind of plausible?

Sat, 13 Mar 2010 08:52:41 +1100

Remember when these two were kind of plausible?

Telephone: Bad music video or worst music video?

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 14:34:29 +1100

Tumblr poll!

Back in the halcyon days (your teen years), you might’ve...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:33:04 +1100

Back in the halcyon days (your teen years), you might’ve found yourself sitting around a table, imbibing various alcohols, and discussing which celebrities would fucking kick so much ass, brah if they were in a band together. Greg Grunberg, in the first case of a fictional superhero using his powers in real life, read your mind and made that band:

Greg Grunberg had the idea for Band from TV after a performance at a House of Blues with several other celebrities garnered a surprising amount of fan interest. Grunberg made several connections that he would later bring together for Band from TV: he appeared on an episode of House (“Sex Kills”) starring actor and musician Hugh Laurie as well as performing at a separate charity event with James Denton and Bob Guiney.

Admittedly, other than Hugh Laurie and Greg Grunberg, these are pretty lame celebrities. We should replace them with Ian Ziering, Nicolas Sarkozy, Arnold Schwarznegger, Woody Harrelson and Will Smith. Tell me you wouldn’t buy that LP.

Jake: Nice hat. Corey: Thanks.Jake: Where are you going?Corey: I...

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:15:53 +1100

Jake: Nice hat.

Corey: Thanks.

Jake: Where are you going?

Corey: I have a wake to attend.

Jake: Come on, man. You didn’t get an invite.

Corey: It’s implied by our lifelong bond.

Jake: Hate to tell you this, mate, but I think that bond just ended.

Corey: I loved him like a son, Jake.

Jake: Yeah, I didn’t even know who he was.

Corey: Didn’t you see Lost Boys!?

Jake: I saw the sequel.

Corey: Autumn Reeser is tragically hot.

Jake: I think so too

Corey: Haim was in the final scene.

Jake: Oh, he was that other vampire during the credits?

Corey: Yeah, that’s him

Jake: He looked like a meth head

Corey: Well, he was in vampire make up

Jake, affecting a gravelly voice: Who ordered the stake?

Corey: Not the time.

Jake: Sorry.

Corey: Anyway, I better go

Jake: Want me to come?

Corey: No… no. This is one journey I must undertake…

The camera zooms in and frames his eyes, crinkled with determination.

Corey: Alone.

Jake: How did you do that?

"Q: Do you think it’s possible for people to go too far with free speech? Is there a line that..."

Fri, 12 Mar 2010 09:00:03 +1100

“

Q: Do you think it’s possible for people to go too far with free speech? Is there a line that can be crossed?

A: Let us talk epistemology for a moment. The minute there is a hidden limit on speech, it is no longer free. Free speech with limits is not free speech under any circumstances.

”

- Interview with an Encyclopedia Dramatica moderator | nineMSN

Yeah, so basically I spent the entire night telling Luke how bad...

Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:49:00 +1100

Yeah, so basically I spent the entire night telling Luke how bad of an idea it was to continue this tryst with his current girlwhatever because she’s a total whore, and I don’t think he liked that very much. It’s alright, when he’s inevitably destroyed by her, I can quote bros before hoes and he’ll be like “Yeah, word” and then take my advice as gospel forever more.

Oh, and Calum’s Mum said I should continue getting mental and banging skanks for another five years, and then get my life together. That’s the kind of adult advice I can endorse.

For Monsterbeard

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:59:33 +1100

For Monsterbeard

Team Rocket trying to recruit me, quite aggressively, I might...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:54:44 +1100

Team Rocket trying to recruit me, quite aggressively, I might add.

I don’t mind that she’s a week-long bender away from...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 13:03:56 +1100

I don’t mind that she’s a week-long bender away from looking like the girl from The Grudge, Kelly Cutrone is HBIC for a reason:

Kelly Cutrone’s visit to sex-gadget shop Babeland on her Bravo show “Kell on Earth” — where she bought sex toys and Proper Attire condoms for her doctor’s receptionist — was supposed to appear only online.

But after seeing a preview of the clip, Cutrone called the network and had producers edit it into last night’s full-length episode. “It was important to me that we spread the message that shopping for sex toys is OK,” the p.r. honcho tells us. “I thought it was perfect. This isn’t something we should be ashamed to discuss.”

[via]

You always withdraw the potion at the start of the game....

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 12:18:26 +1100

You always withdraw the potion at the start of the game. That’s Pokemon 101, noobs.

fyhottumblrguys: Marshall So this guy. He hates tequila and is...

Wed, 10 Mar 2010 03:05:43 +1100

fyhottumblrguys:

Marshall

So this guy. He hates tequila and is a self-proclaimed whore.

He’s been to the Sahara! How cool is that!

He posts some dirty things sometimes so…if you get offended easily, stay the fuck off his page.

Sorry girls. He’s not into vagina. YEAY BOYS.

We are in love with his hair. We want to fuck it.

He is totally UN-PC.

We want an extra firm old on him. OOoooh get it? cuz that’s him Tumblr addy? We’re expecting SNL to call us up any day now.

I’m on board with this.